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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has long been the safe haven for daily publications, and publications remain attentive of notable bog-related stories and milestones, particularly within football. It was quite amusing to learn that a prominent writer a well-known presenter has a West Brom-themed urinal at his home. Consider the situation for the Barnsley fan who interpreted the restroom rather too directly, and had to be saved from the vacant Barnsley ground post-napping in the lavatory at half-time during a 2015 defeat against Fleetwood Town. “He was barefoot and had lost his mobile phone and his cap,” stated a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And who can forget during his peak popularity playing for City, the Italian striker entered a community college for toilet purposes back in 2012. “He left his Bentley parked outside, then came in and was asking where the toilets were, subsequently he entered the faculty room,” an undergraduate shared with a Manchester newspaper. “Subsequently he wandered around the college grounds like he owned the place.”

The Restroom Quitting

Tuesday represents 25 years from when Kevin Keegan quit from the England national team after a brief chat in a toilet cubicle together with Football Association official David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, after the notorious 1-0 loss against Germany in 2000 – England’s final match at the historic stadium. According to Davies' personal account, FA Confidential, he had entered the sodden struggling national team changing area right after the game, only to find David Beckham in tears and Tony Adams “fired up”, both players begging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies located him seated – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, saying quietly: “I'm leaving. This isn't for me.” Collaring Keegan, Davies tried desperately to save the circumstance.

“Where could we possibly locate [for a chat] that was private?” remembered Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The bath area? I couldn’t hold a vital conversation with an England manager as players dived into the water. Just a single choice remained. The toilet cubicles. A significant event in English football's extensive history took place in the vintage restrooms of a venue scheduled for destruction. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Leading Kevin into a compartment, I shut the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘You can’t change my mind,’ Kevin said. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I can’t motivate the players. I can’t get the extra bit out of these players that I need.’”

The Aftermath

And so, Keegan resigned, eventually revealing he viewed his tenure as national coach “empty”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I struggled to occupy my time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the deaf team, working with the ladies team. It's a tremendously tough role.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. Regardless of improvement or decline, those Wembley toilets and those two towers are long gone, while a German now sits in the technical area Keegan previously used. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year's international tournament: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days is a reminder that things were not always so comfortable.

Current Reports

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women's major tournament coverage from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Today's Statement

“We remained in an extended queue, in just our underwear. We were Europe’s best referees, top sportspeople, examples, adults, parents, strong personalities with high morals … yet nobody spoke. We barely looked at each other, our gazes flickered a bit nervously as we were summoned forward in pairs. There Collina examined us thoroughly with an ice-cold gaze. Silent and observant” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures officials were once put through by ex-Uefa refereeing chief Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem named ‘Too Many Daves’. Did Blackpool encounter Steve Overload? Steve Bruce, plus assistants Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been shown through the door marked ‘Do One’. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not quite! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie remain to take care of the first team. Full Steve ahead!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and awarded some merch, I have decided to put finger to keypad and share a brief observation. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights on the school grounds with children he knew would beat him up. This self-punishing inclination must explain his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|